Wow...

I am almost speechless now. This has been one of the roughest weeks in a long time, so forgive me because this post won't be adorned with cute pictures of Rachel.
This week my company launched their infamous re-organization plans. It involved the loss of 550 employees nationwide, and 2 of these people worked in my department. That was Wednesday -- it began with a mass firing of people who were rumored to be "on probation." Word spread throughout the building, and with each name someone gasped. As the day progressed, you would hear whispers of another name, and it seemed like the lay-offs were stemming up through middle management. Then we would hear about people at the building at Easton, where even more lost their jobs. Some knew it was coming...some didn't. By the end of the day, we were emotionally spent, wondering who was next and when it would be over. But we learned that if you still had a job by the end of the day, you were safe.
Safe became a rather relative term at that point. Safe meant you had a job. It didn't mean you had your job.
Part of the re-organization became clearer on Thursday, when we learned that all the inner companies within McGraw-Hill School Education Group were no more. They were being re-merged into 4 Learning Solution Centers. And I learned that my job probably no longer existed as I have known it for 5 years.
It's kind of funny, because Sunday is my 5-year Anniversary with McGraw-Hill. And just days shy of reaching it, the role I have gotten down to a science is now changing.
But I am lucky. I don't have to start from scratch. Many of my peers were told that they would be thrown into a pool of people who would be used to fill whatever positions needed to be filled -- regardless of job skills.
I bawled all morning on Thursday, thinking I was going to be starting over...basically losing any and all seniority I had built up...having to reprove myself to a new manager, who wouldn't begin to understand how hard I have worked for these past 2 years. All those hours, all those hours wasted thinking they would do something for my career -- hours I could have spent with my daughter and husband...
I was at my wit's end at lunch Thursday, and then I got an invitation to a meeting. I had a new role -- a specific job function. A job not so different from what I have been doing, really. I had been selected as 1 of 8 people who would work on reprints for the ENTIRE company. WOW. That's a LOT of reprints.
But as I said, I am lucky. I know that my new boss will be a nice person (he coincidentally is married to my former colleague). I know that I will have people I know with me on this new endeavor. And I am 1 of 2 people in Math Production who is doing anything remotely close to what I did before.
But I am no longer an employee of the Math Department. That part of my career is over. I don't like that. I like my department. I like most of the people I have worked with over these 5 years. I have friends who won't be going with me -- like Kim, one of my dearest friends, and Jessica, whom I adore.
But I have a job, and I have to remind myself to be thankful of that. Because there are 550 people who don't, and as much as I talked a good game about it not making a huge different to me if I lost my job, I thank God that I don't have to worry about that...for now.

RaChEl FaCeS!!!

Just a quick post with some of Rachel's many faces...the kid is a character!

Happy Fourth of July!

We have had a really nice Fourth of July weekend so far. I had Thursday off from work, so I spent the day with Rachel, which I love. Friday, we played and ran some errands. Then Friday evening Rachel got to visit Aunt Steffie, Uncle Brian, and her cousins while Duane and I went to dinner for my friend Lawrene's 30th birthday.
We came home and watched Red, White, and BOOM on TV (that is the only way we really got to see fireworks this weekend). You can kind of see the downtown fireworks from the roof of our house, but I wasn't all about climbing on the roof to watch.
Saturday, Duane went to Mid-Ohio Racetrack with his friend Sam and Rachel and I went to Indian Lake to spend some time with my family. I took a couple of pictures of her in her July 4th outfit (which I purchased last yea

r on clearance). She is such a good baby -- I can set up her playpen and she will play in there while all the adults sit around and chat.
Then Grandpa Burkey and I went and bought her a lifejacket so that she could take a ride on the boat. I had to go with him to pick one out and to keep him from buying anything else. I almost got him to buy a waverunner, but our good sense prevailed. Anyway, Rachel was quite a sight, all bundled up in this lifejacket. It didn't really bother her though. Unfortunately, the weather was dreary and cool, with drizzle. So the boatride wasn't quite as enjoyable as usual. But it is always nice to get out on the water, and because it was Rachel's first boatride, it was even more fun. She wasn't used to the wind, and I bundled her u

p in her blanket, but she didn't cry (except when she kept remembering she had the lifejacket on). She just sat back and looked around. I think it made her sleepy after a while. But I really hope she enjoys the water as much as I do. We putt-putted around and looked at houses on the water -- she even got to see my dream home. I loved sharing the experience with her.
I had planned to go down to my sister-in-law's parents' house for fireworks when I got back, but Rachel was tired by the time we got back to town, so we went home and listened to the fireworks outside as Rachel slept.
Today, Duane was supposed to work, but luckily he didn't have to work the whole day, so we can spend some time together! Also, I got a GREAT deal on a gym membership, so I am going to go workout later. I am determined to lose 15 pounds and/or 1-2 pants sizes in the next 3-4 months. They have a pool and all that state-of-the-art equipment and classes, so I have no more excuses. So if anyone wants to help by watching Rachel once or twice a week...

Pool Party!

This weekend was another busy one. We had friends over Friday night and ended up staying up until about 5:30 in the morning! Then, Rachel and I had a playdate with Quentin/Lawrene and Aiden/Kim on Saturday. Lawrene set up a couple of baby pools in her backyard and, after a scrumptious lunch, we all went out in the 90-degree heat and let the babies go wild.

Rachel was skeptical about the pool at first. She would scream whenever I put her anywhere near it. Aiden, on the other hand, was like a fish. He crawled so quickly across the pool that he looked like he was really swimming.

Quentin liked the water, but he generally would just get in long enough to get a toy and then would climb out again. I ended up pulling up a chair and sticking my feet in the water. And Rachel scrambled around the yard, exploring. She eventually crawled to me and I put her on my lap and gradually introduced her to the water. Once she figured out that she could splash around, she was in the water permanently until we left!

Saturday evening, Kim, Lawrene, and I all went bowling. I have been feeling pretty down lately, for various reasons, so Duane told me to get out! ha! It was a wonderful time. We had fun bowling and then squeezed into photo booth for keepsakes.

Sunday was my nephew Owen's birthday party. In the future, we will combine his with Rachel's party, but I wanted Rachel to have her own birthday party for her 1st birthday. Owen turned 3 on Friday, and I baked him a Wall-E cake for his birthday. He seemed to like it, though you can't get the kid to sit still very long! Oh, to be 3 again! It was a lovely party, and we had a great weekend altogether, though it was really busy.

By the time I got home Sunday night and finished my last cake for a co-worker's retirement gathering (which was today), I was wiped out. It was all I could do to get myself upstairs for bedtime. :)

This week is a short week, but Duane and I are going out of town Wednesday, and we won't get back until late. Rachel is spending the night with Grandma Wood so I can sleep in on Thursday! Then I have Happy Hour Thursday afternoon to celebrate the end of the reprint replacement cycle! =) I have busted my butt this year so far, so it has been nice that things have wound down somewhat. Friday is another day off, with a birthday dinner for Lawrene that evening. I don't think we will go to Red, White, and Boom, but we will try to find some fireworks for Rachel to watch. Perhaps I will take her up to the lake one day this weekend too. We shall see...

One Year...

My dear Rachel,

What a strange and exciting year this has been. This time a year ago, I sat in my hospital room, learning how to feed you, with the protection and help of the nurses and hospital staff. The coming weeks brought more challenges and adventures -- I had to go home and learn how to care for you without the help of all those hospital workers. I didn't have much experience with babies, and you were proving that you definitely have a mind of your own. You wouldn't sleep on your back (we found out later you had pretty bad acid reflux), you liked to stay awake all night and sleep all day, and you had to be put to bed just right or you would wake up crying after 5 minutes.

But Daddy and I learned that we could put you in your swing to sleep, right next to the bed. And when you would stay awake all night, Mommy would be up with you, laying next to you on the floor and watching old movies and TV shows. And, after a while, I learned how to put you to bed the way you liked.



Those first 3-4 months were the hardest of my life -- but they also allowed me to get to know you even better. I learned that your needs will always come first with me and that I care more about making you happy than anything else in this world. When you learned to smile at me, it was one of the best moments in my life.

And what a smile you have! Charming and ornery, you flash that little grin and no one could ever ignore you or be mad at you.

I still marvel at you -- how could your Dad and I have created such a wonderful and amazing little person? You bring so much joy to both of us. And as you have grown older over this year, you have become the most pleasant little person to be around. You love to have fun, you are affectionate and sweet, and you speak your mind constantly.

I can't wait to see what this next year brings. You are weeks away from walking, and you learn how to communicate a little more each day. You are this amazing little person now, and I cherish every day we spend together. These last few days especially have been wonderful.

As we went to the Zoo today, on your 1st birthday, I realized it was quite appropriate -- I went to the Zoo a couple of weeks before you were conceived, and then once you were safely tucked away in the womb, and then finally again on the day before you were due to join us in this world. So it seemed right that we celebrated your first year by going to the Zoo again. Hopefully we will be able to make it back there often, perhaps every year for your birthday.

Thank you for being my dear sweet daughter. You are the truest blessing in my life. I love you.

Mommy

First Birthday Party/Father's Day

Busy busy weekend!! I took Friday through this Tuesday off, and on Friday I went with Rachel and my mom to get Rachel's one-year photos taken. She was less than enthused about the whole ordeal, and I was really worried we weren't going to get any good shots. It could have been the torrential downpour outside or just that she doesn't like professional pictures, but she wasn't staying put or smiling much, which is VERY unlike her.

So I was more than a little pleased when I saw the pictures. They are GORGEOUS! I was able to control my urge to buy all of them, but I came away with a nice set. The pictures capured her ornery nature and her girliness too. And, although I spouted off about how my daughter would not wear pink often, I have to admit she looks really good in it, and she wore pink outfits in all of her pictures. She even sported a bow (!) in a couple of them.

Saturday was Rachel's first birthday party. In future years, we will combine her birthday party with her cousin Owen's party because Owen's birthday is just 3 days after Rachel's, but I wanted her to have her own party for her very first birthday. The weather forecast called for thunderstorms all week, which was not a good sign, because the party was supposed to be at Blacklick Woods park. But it cleared out in the early morning Saturday, and we were blessed with a beautiful day. It was a bit hectic getting started. We had a lot of different people contributing different pieces and parts to the party, so gathering them together at the last minute stressed me out, but the end result was amazing. All of Rachel's family and most of her friends were there. When she went to have some of her Blue's Clues smash cake, I expected her to dig right in because she really likes cake, but she was dainty and lady-like. She got about two good hunks of it, but the rest was just a lick here and there. I felt like it was MY birthday, actually, because Rachel got a whole new summer wardrobe, which not only saves me from having to buy clothes for her, but it allows me to skip a few loads of laundry! I think that because Rachel is the only girl among MANY boys, people must get the itch to buy those girly clothes! I have NOOOOO problem with that!! She also got lots of fun new toys, so I went through her toybox and got rid of some of the stuff she doesn't play with much anymore. No sooner did I get it piled to the side than she crawls in and starts playing with all of it, as if to say "NO MOM! This is my favorite toy!"

There were a lot of little boys at the party, so Rachel is probably going to be a tomboy as she grows up, but I will be delighted that she will have so many "older brothers" there to look after her as she gets older.

Sunday we celebrated Duane's first official Father's Day with Rachel. I made him a DVD of photographs of Rachel's first year and a book of photos as well. We spent all morning together and then traveled to the grandparents. It was another lovely day, and this whole week is supposed to follow suit, which is good because I am taking Rachel to the Zoo on Tuesday for her first birthday!! I love being able to take some days to spend with her. I used to worry that it would be rough because she was kind of a difficult baby, but now I can just relax and play with her a bit and spend a lovely day with my daughter. This year has been a whirlwind, but as we approach the last day of Rachel's first year with us, I can honestly say I am a better person for everything that has happened. I have a beautiful and personable daughter, and my family is a blessing to me.

First Sleepover

Rachel had her first sleepover this weekend. She stayed at my mom and dad's house Saturday night so that I could drive to Akron and watch Duane race. It was a good time, very surprisingly to me. I don't usually get into motorcycle races when Duane is watching them, but it was really neat to see the people and the riders. I saw a couple of wrecks (thankfully not Duane!), and I got to support Duane in something that truly makes him happy.

I also took a few photos with my fancy camera. Not sure how great they really turned out, but they made Duane happy!

Rachel did really well on her sleepover -- Mom and Dad said she was a very well-behaved little lady and they very much enjoyed the time with her. And even though I enjoyed having a night off, I was really happy when they dropped her off Sunday afternoon!

This week is spent planning Rachel's birthday party! The forecast still calls for rain on Saturday, but I am hoping it will end Saturday morning and we will have some nice weather, since we planned an outside party! Otherwise I will need to clean my house and figure out how to let everyone know the party has been moved...