Wow...

I am almost speechless now. This has been one of the roughest weeks in a long time, so forgive me because this post won't be adorned with cute pictures of Rachel.
This week my company launched their infamous re-organization plans. It involved the loss of 550 employees nationwide, and 2 of these people worked in my department. That was Wednesday -- it began with a mass firing of people who were rumored to be "on probation." Word spread throughout the building, and with each name someone gasped. As the day progressed, you would hear whispers of another name, and it seemed like the lay-offs were stemming up through middle management. Then we would hear about people at the building at Easton, where even more lost their jobs. Some knew it was coming...some didn't. By the end of the day, we were emotionally spent, wondering who was next and when it would be over. But we learned that if you still had a job by the end of the day, you were safe.
Safe became a rather relative term at that point. Safe meant you had a job. It didn't mean you had your job.
Part of the re-organization became clearer on Thursday, when we learned that all the inner companies within McGraw-Hill School Education Group were no more. They were being re-merged into 4 Learning Solution Centers. And I learned that my job probably no longer existed as I have known it for 5 years.
It's kind of funny, because Sunday is my 5-year Anniversary with McGraw-Hill. And just days shy of reaching it, the role I have gotten down to a science is now changing.
But I am lucky. I don't have to start from scratch. Many of my peers were told that they would be thrown into a pool of people who would be used to fill whatever positions needed to be filled -- regardless of job skills.
I bawled all morning on Thursday, thinking I was going to be starting over...basically losing any and all seniority I had built up...having to reprove myself to a new manager, who wouldn't begin to understand how hard I have worked for these past 2 years. All those hours, all those hours wasted thinking they would do something for my career -- hours I could have spent with my daughter and husband...
I was at my wit's end at lunch Thursday, and then I got an invitation to a meeting. I had a new role -- a specific job function. A job not so different from what I have been doing, really. I had been selected as 1 of 8 people who would work on reprints for the ENTIRE company. WOW. That's a LOT of reprints.
But as I said, I am lucky. I know that my new boss will be a nice person (he coincidentally is married to my former colleague). I know that I will have people I know with me on this new endeavor. And I am 1 of 2 people in Math Production who is doing anything remotely close to what I did before.
But I am no longer an employee of the Math Department. That part of my career is over. I don't like that. I like my department. I like most of the people I have worked with over these 5 years. I have friends who won't be going with me -- like Kim, one of my dearest friends, and Jessica, whom I adore.
But I have a job, and I have to remind myself to be thankful of that. Because there are 550 people who don't, and as much as I talked a good game about it not making a huge different to me if I lost my job, I thank God that I don't have to worry about that...for now.