So I might as well admit it...I am in a full-fledged funk. It isn't like me. I am laidback and pretty good at finding the bright side of things in most situations, but for the past 3 weeks, I have been positively dreary.
I couldn't quite put my finger on why this started. One day, I just woke up feeling hopeless and sad. I figured it would pass, but each day just reinforced my negative mood. After about a week, I had to take a moment to sit back and analyze why my mood was so drab.
I think it is because I don't really have anything to look forward to right now. Normally, I will have vacation, or some big milestone or life plan to look forward to. But the rest of this year has very little on the horizon for me. While I can look forward to Rachel's 2nd birthday in June, and I am so very grateful for the 2 amazing years with my healthy and happy little girl, I can't say that this event has been enough to drag me out of this haze.
I don't have real vacation plans. I basically just live at work or doing work most of my day. I wake up at 5:30, I get ready and go to work (after dropping off Rachel), work till about 4:30, go pick up Rachel, go home, feed Rachel, play with Rachel for about an hour or two and relax, work until about 10 or 11, then go to bed, just to look forward to another day of the same.
The weekends? Well, I work, and I get time with Rachel, but I don't get out and do things very much. Duane has been working just as much as, if not more than, I have, so what little time we have, we are usually trying to relax and catch up on sleep.
Next weekend, I am looking forward to having a manicure/pedicure with my friends, but I really think I need to make some more time to look after myself. I am blue, and I need to adjust my attitude, because I am losing myself.
So I have been looking into various hobbies. I would really like to learn how to knit or crochet. These seem like hobbies I can pick up and put down quickly, and Rachel can't cause too much havoc with the materials (which is pretty much why scrapbooking is out of the question). I am also getting back into making my cakes, because it is birthday season. I would love to have more time to practice decorating techniques, but it can be hard to take the time needed to do this.
I am also going to take a photography class online through www.betterphoto.com. I want to learn how to take some better pictures with the high-powered camera I bought. That starts in April, so I am trying to rev myself up a bit for it.
And Duane and I have decided to move Rachel into our spare bedroom and switch the spare bedroom to the current pink room. We are also converting our front room into an office. So I am hoping that once these things get rolling, I will find my good-natured positivity again. I am enjoying looking at decorating ideas for Rachel's new room. So if anyone has suggestions, I am all ears! I want it to be girly (*GASP*), but not pepto bismol-esque. Then we will probably buy new furniture for the nursery whenever baby #2 comes along.
So I have accepted my funk, and I guess that is the first step toward recovery!
No comments:
Post a Comment