Not a good day

Today did not start off very well. First of all, Murdock was trying to push me out of bed again. He is going to have to learn that I need to be comfortable or I will not be a pleasant person in the morning. But really, who can resist this face?

When I woke up, I felt fine...for the first 5 minutes. I went about with my morning ritual. I was spotting a little more than yesterday, but still all brown and very faint. Right after I brushed my teeth -- HUNGER. But I have caught on and now I keep a packet of Saltines with me at all times. So I started to munch on those and I got some ginger ale to wash them down, because Saltines are rather bland after the fourth or fifth one.

Yet I still didn't feel good. And now I was also running late for work because I had spent so much time trying to find something to make myself feel better.

In the car, I started to eat some peanut butter cracker sandwiches. That sounded like a really good idea, because the peanut butter was sure to coat my stomach and help with this insatiable hunger, right? One bite into the cracker sandwich and I felt like it was a really bad idea. I forced myself to finish it, but it wasn't pleasant. Eating has become something I no longer enjoy, but must force myself to get through.

Trickster that I am, I put some ginger ale (by the way, ginger is supposed to be very good for morning sickness) in a travel mug and disguised it as my morning coffee. By the time I got out of the car, the Saltines had hit my stomach and I was feeling ever-so-slightly better. I couldn't finish my cereal for breakfast though, even though I knew that I needed to try. Sweet things are appealing less to me than normal. I may have to go back to Egg McMuffins. But since I was running late this morning, no time to stop, so cereal it was. I felt fine for about an hour and a half at work, then I had to much on the aforementioned p.b. cracker sandwiches again.

The spotting has slowed, and I called the doctor but we are currently playing phone tag. Then my manager called a meeting from 11-11:30, which would normally be fine except that I could feel myself growing hungrier with each passing minute. I have only told my manager, my closest coworker, my friend Kim, and a couple other people that I am expecting, so me bolting up and running out of a meeting would be a bit awkward. I glared at my manager with an "I'm desperately hungry" look a couple of times, and I think she finally got the hint when I put my head in my hands and breathed heavily outward.

Alas, I was too late to feed the beast without repercussions. I made it about 2 bites into my delicious baked potato before I had to stop and wait for the nausea to pass. Most of my lunch was spent this way.

Bite, bite, breath, breath, bite, breath, bite, bite.

The nausea seems to have subsided for now though. I have my crackers in my drawer if I need them. I have a feeling I will not be going to the gym for a few weeks if this keeps up. Luckily I made sure I could freeze my membership if necessary. I would like to stay in shape throughout this pregnancy, but this hunger is killing me!

5 weeks, 2 days

Yes, that is my stomach at 4 weeks pregnant. Those who know me know I wouldn't show off my stomach for any old reason, but I think it will be interesting to watch it grow for a good reason!!

Week 4 ended uneventful. I still had no symptoms of pregnancy outside of HUGE boobs and no period. The lack of symptoms was a bit unnerving, but they say Week 6 is really when the symptoms start to come full force. I was officially 5 weeks pregnant Friday (October 19th), but I am not allowed to see the doctor for my first visit until Monday, November 12th. By then I will be 8 weeks, 3 days pregnant. Why so long? Well, that is how they do it. Obviously, if there are concerns, they will see you sooner, but that seems to be the rule -- 8 weeks. And these will be the longest 3 weeks of our lives as wait to make sure everything is ok with our little Woody.

Friday at work, I went to the bathroom. (Similarly to TTC, when you are pregnant, you notice things about your body that you never would have thought about before. For instance, you watch for every type of discharge and body twitch.) So, I went to the bathroom and I noticed a touch of brown tint on the toilet tissue when I wiped. They say it is fairly common for women to spot early in pregnancy. It can happen for many reasons -- old blood trying to clean out of your vaginal area, implantation, etc. They also say you are probably fine as long as the blood isn't bright red and if you don't experience terrible cramping. (I have had some cramping here and there, but nothing persistent or severe.) So the slight tinge of brown may have alarmed me, but I wasn't completely freaking out. I think that may be because I was starting to experience another pregnancy symptom -- I am hungry ALL THE TIME.

Ok, not all the time. But definitely more often than usual. And the problem is, if I don't eat within a few minutes of the onset of hunger, I feel sick for about a half-hour. Certain foods don't appeal to me at all, but I am trying to eat healthy in both amounts and types of foods. I am prone to easy weight gain, and I don't want to be the lady who uses her pregnancy as an excuse to eat 10 times the normal amount of food.

So the start of this new symptom shows me that I have a lot of hormones running through me, thus the slight brown tinge concerned me a little less. And then, it went away anyway, so I felt better. I did call the doctor, because the ladies on the message board (www.thenest.com) do recommend that you call with any spotting, but the doctor was closed for the day. And I know they would have said to keep an eye on it and they would see me the following week, so I figured I could wait until Monday. If something serious happened, there isn't anything they could do anyway.

Yesterday (Saturday), I woke up and felt nauseated pretty much immediately. HUNGER! (Note to self: Keep crackers on bedside stand for emergencies.) So I ran down and got a granola bar while Duane made me an omelet. But I let the hunger go too long, and all day I felt a little off. Late last night, I started spotting again, this time more so. But it wasn't anything more than a streak on the paper, and it was brown in color, so I still wasn't terribly alarmed. I will call the doctor tomorrow morning, and hopefully they will have me come in and they will check my hormones and make sure everything is going okay. But there is the hunger again, so I better go feed the little Woody or I will be sorry!

Pregnant!

At a friend's request, I have decided to start a blog to keep track of the stages of our first pregnancy. And after 4 months of TTC (trying to conceive), we finally get a BIG FAT POSITIVE on the pregnancy tests.

I was beginning to think something was wrong, because a part of you always thinks that if you just stop taking precautions, pregnancy will be inevitable. All those months spent using condoms, taking the pill, etc., make you believe that pregnancy just happens when you are ready for it to happen. But I can tell you that those 3 failed attempts at TTC taught me a lot about myself and about conception.

The longest weeks for me were those between when we tried and when old Aunt Flo would show up. It's amazing what you can learn about your body when you pay attention. I had never spotted before my period before, but for 3 months in a row, I would experience days of spotting leading up to my period. One of the signs of a possible pregnancy is spotting, so every time I saw just a little bit of blood (rather than my typical rush), I would get my hopes up. And then a few days later, I would be terribly disappointed. I spent money on many pregnancy tests and constantly went through the disappointment of watching for a line that would never show.

During this last month, I got a call from my doctor regarding my recent yearly pap. The results were slightly abnormal, and to be safe, she wanted me to come in for a colposcopy -- which I found out basically is a cervical biopsy. Talk about uncomfortable. They actually cut parts of your cervix off, and to make matters worse, you constantly have to cough so they can get a good piece. (Let me just tell you it is never harder to cough than when you are lying on your back waiting for someone to poke at you with a sharp medal object!) The results were normal, but as a result of this procedure, you are not allowed to have sex for a few days, and this was supposed to be the few days that we were ovulating. So I chalked it up to another missed month of TTC, and went on with my business of monitoring my fluids and waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive.

Remember how I said TTC teaches you things about your body you never noticed? Remember how I spotted in those few days leading up to Aunt Flo? This month, no spotting. Flo was due October 12th (Friday), and as of Thursday evening, I was having dull cramps but no sign of Flo. I couldn't bear the disappointment of another negative pregnancy test, but it was the weekend and I just needed to know. So Friday morning, I took a test with my first-morning urine (which is the most concentrated) and I set it down and walked away from it. I couldn't bear to sit and watch for a line that wouldn't show, so I left the room. When I came back 5 minutes later, I nearly choked on my gasp! 2 lines! 2 very clear lines, not faint lines -- a strong line!

Still in shock, I bought a digital pregnancy test on my way to work. I waited a few hours and tested again and, yep, still pregnant!

Needless to say, we are shocked by the news. We can't believe we are actually expecting a baby! We haven't told many people yet, because it is still so early, but our close friends know, and so does his family. I am not sure when to tell my family. We won't all be together until Thanksgiving, but at least by then I will be further along. Then again, if anything were to happen, I would need their love and support. I will keep you posted on that.

Until then, keep us in your prayers.